10 minutes | Thursday, December 9, 2021
Unrequited Love (Obsessive Love)
Connect with Suzie The Dating Diva at www.SingleDatingDiva.com
§ Show of hands, who always wants what they can’t have? The more we can’t have it, the more we want it!
§ The allure of unrequited love is magnetic. There is nothing worse than wanting someone so badly and knowing you can’t have them. Nothing worse than finding the one you know you should be with but, as fate would have it, it’s not meant to be. Romeo and Juliet anyone?
§ Countless readers have written me about these very situations. I’ve also been in their shoes and it sucks. But are we just succumbing to our romantic notions rather than sticking to reality? Perhaps.
§ It takes over your life. Problem is that you can’t give yourself completely to anyone else, nor can you just disconnect from your obsession completely. It’s like you’re dancing with the devil – it’s a slippery slope you can’t escape from.
§ I know how frustrating and painful it is to meet who you think is “the one”, even your soulmate and you just can’t have them. It’s like almost being able to reach something on the top shelf but you just can’t get to it, even when you think you’re making progress, you’re not.
§ Romeo and Juliet ended up dead because their obsessions consumed them. That’s not romantic. It’s ego driven and lacks a mature understanding of what love really is.
§ We have this strange notion that love should be this crazy insane “us against the world” kind of thing when in reality it’s all about having our needs met and of course, stability.
§ We get into love affairs that are fed by our imaginations and logic goes out the window. What fuels the fire is the whole notion “forbidden love” or wanting what you can’t have.
§ Psychologists have spoken about wanting what we can’t have. Three reasons: the first is that when something is forbidden you instinctively give it more importance, secondly you want it more because you think it’s valuable, and thirdly is that we don’t like to be told we can’t have or can’t do something. Sound familiar?
§ What you need to do is look at the people in your life and their role, contribution and purpose. Be honest about it.
§ Unrequited love isn’t romantic … being with someone who lifts you up, makes you feel loved, wanted, secure and safe is.
§ Some people you’ll always love, but that doesn’t mean they need to have a place in your life. Be confident enough to let go. Your mental health is more important than your ego.
§ Romeo and Juliet was NOT a healthy romantic love story. Don’t seek it out.
POST IT NOTE / MANTRA: I will seek healthy romance